Clinical depression (also called severe depressive disorder, major depressive disorder) is a state of intense sadness, melancholia or despair that has advanced to the point of being disruptive to an individual's social functioning and/or activities of daily living. Although a low mood or state of dejection that does not affect functioning is often referred to as depression, clinical depression is a clinical diagnosis and may be different from the everyday meaning of "being depressed". Many people identify this feeling as "being blue", "feeling sad for no reason", or "having no motivation to do anything".
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Clinical_depression For a long time I believed depression implied be crazy. So when I faced my own depression I felt ashamed of myself. I mean, after all I wasn’t crazy! My depression began early when I was about 12 years old. That is when I had my first suicidal attempt. This happened at the same time I realized I was gay. I had a lot of questions about it, I had a lot of fears about it, and I had a lot of doubts about it too. Everything and everyone around me, told me that to be gay just wasn’t right. And I really wanted not to be “wrong” or “bad” or to be something my family felt ashamed of. And so, one day I decided to take my own life - but fortunately, I failed.
At that time, adult people were saying that this was a stupid juvenile way of trying to call other people’s attention to me. [Duhhh!] Instead of looking deeper, they just judged me. This is why I decided to keep the secrets [my sexuality and my suffering] within me.
But this incident [attempted suicide] repeated itself several times after that, in different situations. Even after I finally came out as a gay person and felt proud about it, there still were moments when I was suffering in silence without even knowing why.
My most difficult moment was when I was working as a trainer. At that time I saw myself as a big fake, or fraud, a lie. I was working as a motivational speaker. I was like an explosion on the stage. I helped make people feel good, even great in my workshops. But secretly I faced this embarrassing battle about my own defeating thoughts.
In public, I was talking to people about following their dreams and how possible it was to reach their goals. But in the loneliness of my room I was thinking I couldn’t follow my own dreams nor make them come true. I was this hopeless poor devil trying to give hope to other people. I was empowering people and making them strong, but not me.
Like a person suffering with Bipolar Disorder (also called Clinical Depression or Manic Depression Behavior), I was facing cyclical depression periods, traveling between emotional lows and highs that were psychologically dividing me and all the people around me.
Depression can affect anybody, at any moment in life. And it is a perfectly normal feeling to feel sad from time to time. But when your sadness becomes impossible to dissolve because you are living with it 24/7, it is time to turn on the alarms and begin looking for serious help.
There were some periods when I didn’t want to wake up, I just wanted to stay in bed all day long. I wanted to be locked up at home. I lost my appetite and any interest for what seemed normal things of life. But when the day became a week, and a week became a month, this sense of just wanting to end it all, appeared easy. Like a TV program when it fades out, I just wanted to turn off my life and my secret suffering with it.
During that time, I had a total lack of concentration even to do the simple things, like brush my teeth, or take a bath… sometimes for several days. I was irritated often. I felt pessimist, useless, unwanted, despicable, deprived, hopeless, and guilty.
When depression arrives, those things that give special flavor and color to your life, no longer produces the same level of happiness as before. For example, going to the gym, calling or speaking with your friends, going to the movies with someone who likes you, go to dance at a disco place with your boyfriend or your girlfriend – or your whatever, going to work, taking a walk, or going around becomes a tedious and heavy task for you.
When this happened to me, I tried to do everything possible to disguise it and look like everything was Ok. But deep inside I felt so down, that sometimes I just did not want to go on, and so I just collapsed.
For some people depression appears suddenly. They seem to cry when almost anything happens in their lives. Some feel like they are broken in pieces and deeply miserable. Others can’t remember a single moment of joy in their lives.
This disease [depression] attacks your whole body – its debilitating, that’s why you feel physical symptoms. Some people – like me, loose their appetite and other people overeat and gain much weight. Some people feel like they have no energy and appears like they are living in slow motion. Still other people seem like they are going so fast in life, like they are driving into the edge of the adrenaline, even though they are running on empty.
Depressed people frequently suffer physical trepidation and anxiety. They could experience cardiac arrhythmia, unsteadiness, and/or dizziness. Although most people face insomnia, others might wake up early in the morning, while still others just want to sleep forever.
Some forms of depressions, are the result of a brain [chemical] in-balance, while others are due to events which happened in childhood. The birth of a baby, the loss of a job, not having money, or the death of a spouse (which could have happened even months or years before) can trigger depression.
Other people experience sadness in certain periods of the year – like Christmas, other people by the change of the season or climatic phenomena. Also some medications can produce depression, like a side effect.
An effective way to fight most types of depression is psychotherapy. There are a lot of professionals and resources to help you. This includes; psychiatric doctors, clinical psychologists, social workers, family counselors, and professional nurses with high degrees in psychiatry or psychology. Some Rabbis, Priests, or Ministers with pastoral counseling qualifications and experience, are also a source of expert help for people suffering with depression.
Today there are many medical treatments used to fight against mood disorders and depression. Some medicines work alone and others in combination. Some people do not have a bad reaction to these drugs, while others do. Actually there is no such thing as a magic “happiness pill” or “silver bullet”. But when you cross over, you will discover other options, such as; psychotherapy, counseling, changing of habits, even change your eating habits, and still you might feel deeply depressed – this it is the time to think about medication.
Not just any doctor can prescribe these drugs. Only psychiatric doctors who are specifically trained in anti-[deep]-depression treatments with medical substances. And this could be a big deal for many people.
To me, this was very controversial - depending on a pill to see the world as the rest of the people do. But the truth is, that no one can take charge of your depression, except you. It has to be you who wants to take the decision to either remain where you are or actually overcome your situation. Only you can decide not to be a victim of depression, but rather a survivor.
If you are facing depression – living deep in sadness and you are tired of it, this is the time to look for help and solutions. It does not matter what is the source of your depression or how much damage has been produced in you, you can still be healed. And it does not matter if depression has changed your life so much that it is upside down, still there is hope. Most people with depression have a quick successful response to today’s treatments.
I fought [unsuccessfully] for several years, until one day I finally defeated my depression for the very first time. I felt so good about myself! So I decided to fight again and again and again, every time depression appeared in my life. This was not that easy, and I am still fighting every single day. Today I enjoy living a full life and with every single thing in it, like I have never experienced before in my life.
This is the time for overcoming your depression - start by thinking positive, enjoy your life again, and enjoy the beauty of living. God doesn’t create you for suffering - God creates you to live a great and happy abundant life.
Face and fight against depression – it is not a crazy person’s thing. Face and fight depression – it is an action for people who are not crazy, but want a healthy way of life. Nobody can help you if you remain in your closet of depression and you don’t let people know about your internal fight.
So, don’t be ashamed. Start together your second chance. Come out of your closet and let’s talk about depression.
══════ † ══════
Philippians 4:6-7 [Personal Translation]
Don't fret or worry about anything. Instead of being anxious, pray with thanksgiving in every situation. Let petitions and praises shape your worries into prayers, letting God know your concerns. Before you know it, God's peace will be in you and your soul will be comforted and you'll feel a sense of God's wholeness. With God in your heart and your mind everything coming together for good, will come and settle you down. It's wonderful what happens when Christ displaces worry and fear at the center of your life.
Source:
Holy Cross MCC ~ holycrossmcc.com
Marco Rubio 2006
This work is licensed under a Creative Commons Attribution-Noncommercial-No Derivative Works 2.5 License.
Permission is granted to copy, distribute, display and/or perform this work for personal use only, under the following conditions*: 1.- You must attribute the work in the manner specified by the author or licensor [Marco Rubio - abigchild@yahoo.com.mx] and a link to the original source [Holy Cross MCC ~ holycrossmcc.com]; 2.-You may not use this work for commercial or profit purposes; 3.-You may not alter, transform, or build upon this work. 4.-For any reuse or distribution, you must make clear to others the license terms of this work. (*)Any of these conditions can be waived if you get permission from the copyright holder.
|
